He's Not My President?

Thoreau: "Government is Best Which Governs Least"

How to Turn a Conservative Into a Liberal — The Story of Pepe



I moved to Arizona and bought my house 3 years ago.  This is the first house I have owned.  During my college years and early adulthood, I had a Golden Retriever that I moved from apartment to apartment.  Her name was Meagan.  She was named Meagan in a salute to Ronald Reagan (I used to affectionately call her Meagan Reagan).  She was a wonderful, loveable dog, and I cherish the 13 years we spent together.  One day I woke up and found that Meagan could no longer stand.  I had to euthanize her that day.   That was a decade ago, and to this day it still brings tears to my eyes to think of it.

Afterward, I decided I would not get another dog until I lived in a house where the dog could have a proper backyard to run around and play instead of being cooped up in a small apartment.  In January of 2006, the glorious day came where I became a proud home owner.  I then began my search for a dog.  My new backyard was small, so I decided to stick with a smaller breed of dog and was interested in the Chihuahua line.  Maybe because I still loved the movie Legally Blond, I was stuck in this Chihuahua mode.

In March of that same year, my nephew called me to tell me a friend of his girlfriend had found a dog wandering the streets with no identification that was part Chihuahua.  The friend of my nephew’s girlfriend had already placed an add in the paper to find the owner, but had no luck.  The dog had no identification and so the owner could not be found.  My nephew took me over to meet the dog, and I brought the dog home that night. 

Well, he wasn’t exactly a Chihuahua.  He was small, but not as small as a Chihuahua, and strangely spotted.  He certainly had the temperament of a Chihuahua because he was a nervous dog.  I brought him to the Veterinarian, got him all of his shots, and had him neutered all in an attempt at being a responsible pet owner.  I named him Pepe to pay homage to his Chihuahua roots.  I was told by the Veterinarian that Pepe was part Chihuahua, part Terrier, and part Australian Cattle Dog (hence the interesting spotted markings).  This ends up being a strange breed indeed in that the Chihuahua part is an anxiety ridden pooch while the Australian Cattle Dog portion is very much task oriented and very adept at herding.

When Pepe was found, he was what I would describe as a “rugged individualist,” a true conservative.  As I mentioned, he was found on the streets.  At the time, he was hanging out at a depot for Unified School District buses.  He was feeding himself by digging in the trash and finding food wherever he could find it.  When he first came to live with me he ran away three times.  Two of three times he was far enough away from my house that I had to search for him in my car and finally found him on two occasions over a mile from my home.  He still had that independent streak, and although I was providing for his every need, he still had the desire to fend for himself.

As you can well imagine, when all of your needs are met everyday by another, you finally become dependent on what is given you and you stop trying to fend for yourself.  You lose that desire for rugged individualism, you give up and simply just take what is given to you (in other words, you become a far left leaning liberal).

In the past year, there have been two occasions where I accidentally left my side gate open for more than 24 hours.  In the past, Pepe would have seized upon this opportunity to run away.  During these times in the past year, he’s gone nowhere, scratching at the back slider to be let back in to the comforts of the home.  He spends his entire day lying on the couch sleeping the day away.  He eats, he runs around a bit in the backyard (but not as much as he used to enjoy) and he sleeps on the couch.  Day after day, week after week, month after month.  What happened to my Pepe?

Simple, he became a blood sucking liberal feeding off of his host.  It’s my fault; I made him this way.  I’ve given him everything, and he no longer desires to obtain these things for himself.  His rugged individualism is gone, his desire for entitlement has piqued, and he will probably never be the same dog again that I brought home that day over 3 years ago.  That my friends is how you turn a conservative into a liberal.

Is Pepe better off now than he was three years ago?  Perhaps, but from a purely superficial human point of view.  He’s lost his instinctual desires, he’s lost his “doggy” sense of self.  He is simply now a pawn in the game of me.  He didn’t have a choice.  I don’t know what he, from a dog’s point of view, would have chosen.  I dictatorially decided for him.

Because Pepe is a dog, he didn’t know any better.  He didn’t posses the acumen to thwart my attempts to liberalize him.  He couldn’t reason that being a rugged individualist would be better than being a liberal dependent on another sucking the entitlements the host offered. 

But we my friends as humans have the ability to rationalize what is happening to us and our country.  We know America will be filled with Pepe’s if we don’t take an active stand to stop what is happening.  We must revive rugged individualism especially in these hard economic times; otherwise, we will end up like Pepe — living in a nanny state, totally dependent on our government for our every need and desire.  We’ve seen how that has worked out historically, and now you have seen how that has worked out for Pepe.

Written by KJ Kaufman

February 21, 2009 at 8:06 pm

One Response

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  1. Good post, Pepe looks alot like my Jack Russell terrier…who has become my blood sucking dependent and vice versa…


    March 11, 2009 at 5:57 am

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